


Why Couldn't I Have Been Reborn in the Normal World

by Writing_Frenzy



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Families of Choice, Family Drama, Mentions of Violence, Sarcasm, Self-Insert, Threats of Violence, Unconventional Families, mentions of past violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Frenzy/pseuds/Writing_Frenzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where reincarnation sucks and the reborn person has no idea the story he is messing with.<br/>(No own KHR. Kind of a self insert oc, but without them knowing KHR Manga/Anime.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is the time before my life got even more chaotic.

_**/Call Me Never/** _

Sawada Ietsuna felt his eye twitch. It’s been doing that a lot lately. It’s starting to upset his glasses.

"HAHAHAHA! Come on, stop being such a downer Ie-kun! You’re gonna be a father! It’s a time for celebration!" Oh and there’s the reason for that.

Turning with a sigh, ‘Ie-kun’ takes in his rather red faced, glazed eyed brother, who is now laughing like someone told him the best joke.

Maybe if he smashes his brother’s face into the bar counter now he’ll stay unconscious. Doesn’t have to be long, just enough to let the younger twin slip away. It could buy him enough time to at least get to the door-

"COME ON! Have another round! It’s all on me for tonight, since my adorable little brother has finally entered the joys of fatherhood." And with that, the bastard orders another round.

Yeah, probably too drunk to feel any pain. Damn.

"Ahhhh, it feels like only yesterday my lovely wife delivered my cute little tuna-fish to the world-" 

"It was only yesterday." Ietsuna says flatly, his eye twitching once more.

"And now your wonderful wife, though not as wonderful as my Nana, says she expecting! How awesome is that?" Sawada Iemitsu exclaims, as if his twin never said a thing.

Really, why did he have to have this man as his brother? Hell, why did he have to be reborn in such a world? Couldn’t he, you know, have stayed dead maybe?

Alas, life just enjoyed messing with his and screwing with his head. 

But come on, Sawada Iemitsu? As his twin? They didn’t even look that much alike, being fraternal twins and all.

His brother was big and buff; he had a track star’s build. Iemitsu was blond, brown eyed, and tan. Ietsuna was ash-brown, blue eyed, and peach skined. The older twin was usually called ruggedly handsome; and the younger twin was often described as adorable.

He was a grown man! He was not suppose to be cute! (And just because he could put his hair in a small pony-tail did not mean he was ‘girly’.)

Though it was something his brother _always_  had to remind him off. 

Why did he have to be reborn again?

"Ietsuna?" oh.

Mood doing a 360, the glasses wearer smiled when he saw his lovely wife come in.

"Saki? Are you alright." He asked, going over to his wife.

"Yes, I’m fine; just missed you tonight. Have you finished celebrating with your brother?"

“ _Yes_ ”

"Nooooooooooooo! You haven’t even touched one of your drinks!" Iemitsu calls, waving a sake bottle at him.

Smiling through gritted teeth, the ash-brown twin turned to face his brother, his eyes hard.

"And like I told you just last week, I’m giving up on drinking." the younger of the brothers says, his tone just an inch away from breaking of frustration, annoyance, and temptation.

"Eh? Where’s the fun in that-"

"Good night Iemitsu, call me after you sober up and your hangover passes." Cutting him off curtly, not able to deal another minute longer, he leaves with his wife arm and arm.

"Are you sure it’s alright to leave like that?" Saki, his rose colored eyed bliss in life, asks hesitantly.

"It’s fine. Iemitsu knows I can’t stand him drunk, so he’ll get over it. I don’t mind him half as much when he’s sober." Ietsuna sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

Still, even sober his brother is a pain in the neck. He better be lucky the assassin-turn-writer cares so much for him.

"… Are you still sure about quitting? I know your job in CEDEF was important." The mahogany haired woman asks, fingering one of her hidden knives in her kimono.

Old habits die hard.

"I said I would retire when we both are ready… I’m sorry for making you wait." Ietsuna said, pulling his wife closer to him, enjoying her warmth.

"I was ready to put up ‘Parasol Shiro’ even before I met you. You were just able to let me give it up faster, even if you couldn’t give up ‘Blood Knuckle Sawada’ yet." Saki says, her voice showing her complete acceptance of her husband’s choice.

The reincarnated man couldn’t help but smile, his eyes bright with both happiness and relief.

Things were looking up.

(And then he happened to move right next door to his brother’s family.

Screw his life.)

* * *

  _ **/Three’s The Charm/**_

May the gods have mercy on his soul, because his lovely Saki won’t have any for him.

When they were expecting a child, they were pretty much expecting that, _a child_. So when the doctor does the sonogram and tells them they’re having twins, they are both excited and nervous. But it was still okay, they could handle twins. And if necessary, Nana has offered to watch them from time to time.

(Though they rather not, since she does have her own child to raise, no matter how well behaved little Tsuna is.)

So yeah, they were still pretty excited, picking out names, getting the nursery ready. Nana would even join in on the fun, her and his wife bonding over the shared experience of swollen ankles, gained weight, and cravings.

(The assassin-turned-writer can now never look at a sandwich the same way again… or hot sauce.)

So when the big day came and Ietsuna was snapping his fingers so fast it nearly burned, the doctor finally approached him, big smile on his face.

"Congratulations! You have two healthy baby boys and one healthy little girl. Would you like to see them?" The doctor says with a grin, as if to mock him.

… Might as well see his children before his wife decides to slaughter him. Maybe if he’s lucky, she’ll change her mind and have him suffer the sleepless nights with her. 

(In other news, the boys were named Ienari and Satoshi, and their girl named Nami. He was allowed to name one.) 

* * *

  ** _/Okay Then, Moving On/_**

Raising four kids soon became a group effort for the in-laws.

While all were good when it came to money, when it came to taking care of the kids, who would cry(Satoshi), yell (Ienari), whimper(Tsuna), and bite(Nami) for attention (or food), the two Sawada neighbors decided they could always use more emotional support and another pair of eyes. And while there was the ups and downs, after a few years they were going at it like champs, able to take care of each others children to the degree the kids might as well have three parents.

There was even times where shy little blond-rose eyed Satoshi and their red haired brown-eyed Nami would sleep over at Nana’s, while brown haired and eyed Tsuna and twin in looks to his brother Ienari would snuggle down in the pillow fort in the living room.

Really, why they bothered living in two houses when they were basically one household was anyone’s guess.

And that was how it’s been, up to now, when Tsuna turned six, the triple terrors five.

* * *

  _ **/That’s Hot/**_

"So their eyes are okay? I mean, they’re still pretty, but it would be terrible if they couldn’t see because of their pupil’s shape." Nana fretted as she prepared cookies for the kids, Ietsuna getting the ‘lick the bowl privilege’.

(Don’t judge him, cookie dough should be considered an addictive substance.)

"Yeah, apparently they can see alright, even if their pupils are shaped like a compass. Saki was just worried about the kids because usually only those in the main line of her family can get off scot free if they develop them. At most, it looks like Satoshi and Nami aren’t going to go blind, but I won’t be surprised if they need glasses in the future." The author said thoughtfully, slightly sucking on the cookie dough in his mouth.

To be honest, while he was worried about his children’s eyesight, he was more worried about what their eyes mean.

Satoshi and Nami were going to be Earth Flame users; Cozarto grade Earth flames.

That had been a surprise for the both of them, as Saki herself was an orphan who never knew her biological family. But as she wasn’t a Earth flame, but a Desert flame, it could explain a few things.

(Ever since she found out, she has been studying all she could on her family, trying to learn all she can. Last the ash brown man knew, she was debating with herself on whether or not to approach them.)

And while this didn’t change anything for the proud (and sarcastic at occasions) father, it also meant that he didn’t know what to do when their flame surfaces.

Despite his medical condition which sucks up over half his flames, he is still a Sky user, so he knows how to place limiters and seals for any flame of the Sky. (He made sure to learn all he could about anything that could help his babies.)

Earth flames… not so much.

(Really, how the hell is this his life! He should be worrying about his kids crying in stores or scraping their knees, not them blowing up buildings!

God, why did he have to quit drinking again? He- Ietsuna stops himself right there; he promised to himself that his kids would not have an alcoholic for a father and he is going to keep it. He is not going to follow the footsteps of his own mother.)

And of course while things are calm and he’s thinking something happens.

"TSUNA!" "NI-SAN" is suddenly yelled, and with skills that he can never bring himself to dull, the retired mafioso is out there before Nana can even turn, cookie dough all but forgotten.

And he gets there in time to see the large amount of Sky Flames Tsuna is emitting, big tears in his eyes as he starts to curl into himself.

Judging by the fallen branch burning merrily next to him, it seems the little brunet fell from the tree and his flames reacted to save him.

Definitely worse ways to activate Deathperation flames.

"TSUNA!" Is screamed, Nana obviously wanting to run over to her child, but not sure if she could.

Well, now he knows why his intuition was telling him to bring the draining limiter every time he was going to be around Tsuna. 

Because nothing else would be able to contain those flames, and seals could just screw the kid over with that much blocked. So a limiter that would drain excess flame into the earth/air safely. (And in rare occasions, can even be used to defend yourself.)

But before he can give him the belt-like contraption, he needs to calm both mother and kid down.

"Saki, could you take the kids and Nana-san into the house and explain what you can about the situation to them? I need to calm down Tsuna-kun." Iestuna asks his wife, his eyes meeting hers as she nods, a soft smile on her face as she gently, but firmly leads those mentioned all out of the backyard and into the house.

Turning to the very much scared little boy, the man holds back a sigh.

"Hey, Tsuna-kun? Can you hear me?" 

After a pause, the kid nods through his knees.

"That’s good. Now, can you please look at me?" The gentleness in his voice must be convincing, as watery red-orange eyes look up at his, his flames preventing the tears from leaving their tracks down his face.

"Hey there my little lion cub, how you feeling?" Probably rather crappy and scared, but he needs to have it confirmed. Besides, he needs the brunet to calm, and what better way then to talk it out? (At least that’s what all the parenting books suggest. Personally, he thinks most of them are full of crap.)

"I-I-I’m -hic- scared." Tsuna hiccups, his arms wrapping around his knees tighter.

"Yeah, those flames can be pretty scary, can’t they? But they’re still rather pretty too."

"P-pretty? -hic-."

"Hmmhm, haven’t you looked?" and cue childish fascination with all things shiny.

Soon, Ietsuna had the draining limiter on, which Tsuna seems to like very much, even though it made the ‘sparkly fire’ go away.

(And just what the hell was with this kid’s flame purity? That stuff was potent! He nearly harmonized with the kid, and bonding with other Skies is never easy.)

Taking the kid inside, after a stern order to never take the ‘funny belt’ off, (“Even when I take a bath?!” “Don’t worry, it’s water proof.”) they went in side for explanations and cookies.  

Yum.

(Nana took it rather well that her son could some make fire anytime he wanted. Though Ietsuna left out anything mafia related; that was Iemitsu’s to tell.)

* * *

  ** _/You Make a Point/_**  

"…Are you sure we’re cousins?" Nami asks her siblings in blood and bond.

"Well, Tsuna-nii is our cousin, but you, me, and Ienari are brothers and sister." Satoshi explains quietly, shyly peeking over his pillow. They’re in Tsuna’s room as they’re going to sleep soon.

"But Tsuna doesn’t feel like a cousin. He feels just like you guys to me." the red-haired girl puffs up, daring either of her brothers to disagree with her.

"…Well, you’re not wrong. Tsuna-nii is just like a big brother." Ienari shrugs, agreeing.

"And you guys are still my family, no matter what… But what brought this on, Nami-chan?" Tsuna asks, turning to the only girl.

"Well… I over heard some of the ladies on the corner talking about our family.They said things that made me want to get the kitchen knives, but Kaa-san won’t let me play with them until I’m eight. Though the thing they said that got my attention was something about how Tsuna-nii was probably our half-brother.” the adorable little girl pouted, as if her mother was being so unfair, before looking curious.

"How can I be half of anything, though? That doesn’t make sense." Tsuna asked, ignoring the girl’s violent tendencies; all of the family was used to them (though her Tou-san would on occasion start banging his head against the wall when reminded).

"Not sure, but you are basically our brother in everything but blood. And Kaa-san, Tou-san, and Oba-san have raised all of us, we might as well be siblings." Satoshi says thoughtfully, tilting his head as he does so.

"If that’s the case…Do you think your Tou-san wouldn’t mind being mine as well?" Tsuna asked, eyes warming up with hope. His was always busy with work, but the triplet’s daddy was always around, always there if something scary was in the closet or if a hurt needed to be bandaged and kissed.

He was there when Tsuna was going to his first day of school and his mommy couldn’t take him because she was sick. He helped him with the dreaded maths and English and got them snacks as they did it. 

He even took everyone out on the day that his mommy always cried on, doing fun stuff and making Kaa-san smile and laugh instead.

He was _there_.

He was Tsuna’s father already, the little boy just fooled by the title of Uncle.

And it looked like his cousin agreed.

So when Ietsuna went to check for monsters (or assassins) and kiss them all good night, he got a surprise.

"Good night guys, see you in the morning." The glasses wearer said, a fatherly, gentle smile on his face.

"Night Tou-san." said Satoshi.

"Sweet dreams!" chirped Nami.

"You too!" yawned Ienari.

"See you tomorrow… Tou-san." Tsuna shyly spoke, a silly smile on his face as he did.

Though Tou-san must have been more tired then they all thought, cause his face suddenly hit the ground so fast.

* * *

  ** _/You Will Regret This/_**

'Damn it Iemitsu, pick up your damn cell.' Ietsuna thought, listening to the ringing.

Damn it, why was this his life!

Being reborn in this crazy world where physics were questionable and flames were normal in the mafia not enough? It needed to add drama and a bunch of crap to the pile.

Seriously, if he didn’t know better, he would say he was reborn in a freaking anime.

(If he is, oh god please say it isn’t a tragedy.)

After being sent to voice mail once again, the author threw the phone at his bed, (while he was emotional, he didn’t want the phone to break).

Sitting down on the corner of the bed, the retired assassin sighed, putting his head in his hands.

This whole situation was screwed up.

After escaping the room (Ietsuna didn’t have it in him to break the boundless sparkles of happiness around Tsuna, so he just left), the younger of the adult Sawada twins went to tell Nana and Saki what happened.

His brother’s wife had broken down in tears, Saki comforting her even now. 

They would have to clear the situation up with the kids tomorrow, but none of the adults missed how this could have happened.

Nana was a helpful person by nature, so she tended to volunteer for anything in town. Saki actually had a job teaching at a dojo here, as she would have otherwise been bored.

But Ietsuna was a writer, for children’s books mostly (and the here and there more ‘adult’ books), so he was usually the one at the house, babysitting the kids who were his greatest muses.

Iemitsu couldn’t stay more then a week at the house. (Though it was weird that every time he came over, Ietsuna’s own family would be off somewhere else. He would have thought his brother was doing this on purpose, but the bastard wouldn’t ever pass up the chance to embarrass him or to compare wives.)  

Rubbing his temples, the ash brown haired man sighed.

If his brother ever regretted how he treated his family, that would be up to him. If he ever got his damn act together, that would be great.

But until then (if it even happens), Ietsuna has his own family to take care of.

All six of them. 

* * *

  _ **/How Violent/**_

It was said one night over a shared dinner between both households, just as if Ienari was asking someone to pass the peas.

"Nami-chan joined a cult because of a crush." the blond middle child of the triplets answered when asked if anything had happened at school.

Ietsuna choked, swallowing the fish he just put in his mouth violently, "What?"

"Now Nami-chan, I know at times they may sound tempting, especially when someone you care for is a part of it, but me and your father told you that you couldn't join anything that may contain such violence and possible sacrifice until you are at least fifteen." the triplets mother scolded, the father sighing when he finally got himself under control.

(And yes, they may have different standards then other parents, but when your children are interested in becoming hitwoman (Nami) or world class hackers (Ienari) it pays to set any boundaries early so they don't accidentally maim themselves or blow up China.) 

"I didn't join a cult; I joined the Disciplinary Committee as Secretary." the pouting red headed child explains, looking to cute.

"It's a cult dedicated to violence and sacrifices of plant eating creatures to the great Hibari-sama." Ienari deadpan, giving his little sister a look.

"It's purpose is the safety and well being of Namimori and her citizens."

"Lead by a crazed and bloodthirsty Carnivorousness Skylark."

"It's leader is the amazing, skilled, and noble Hibari-san, protector of our beloved home and ever so skilled with his Tonfa." And yeah, that sigh was the sigh of a girl smitten. Unfortunately, Ietsuna knew his growing daughter's taste in crushes.

"And just how many people has he beaten up violently?" the father figure in the households asked, wondering if it was too early to explain abusive relationships to his daughter who seems to have an attraction to anything violent, just so she would know the signs of it.

"From the gossip I hear around school it's 37 so far Tou-san," Tsuna chirps up, the title making Nana wince while the ash brown man bit back a sigh. While they did have a talk, it was hard seeing as the kids not only had logic on their side, but there really no way to defend Iemitsu here.

So Ietsuna was still Tou-san, at least in the houses only.

But back to the recent topic.

"Is this what you've chosen as your mandatory club?" seeing his daughter nod he continues, "Remember to behave yourself, don't go over board and no dating until you're around thirteen to fourteen. That goes to the boys as well."

"Yes Tou-san!" is said in chorus.

"Good, so anything else we adults should know or can I get through dinner without worrying about your principle calling?"

"Well..."

* * *

_**/More of Them/** _

"Tou-san, is it okay if I have a friend come over?" blinking at his oldest Satoshi, who is shyly standing beside one of his grinning little baseball teammates from the unofficial games played in the neighborhood, the glasses wearing book writer thinks it over.

Ienari is actually over at one of his computer club's (and yes, the young father made sure to tell his son no hacking in school) member's house, all of them looking over some new program. Nami will be assisting in gathering reports and dishing out her own brand of violence around town, so he doesn't expect either of them to be home until dinner, someone else giving them a lift home. Tsuna doesn't have a club so he'll probably be at the house about now.

Which means they'll only have to worry about looking after three kids instead of five all at once.

This can't be too bad.

"I don't see why not; just make sure... Yamamoto right? That Yamamoto-kun's family is okay with it."

"My dad is; I usually stay out late to play baseball all the time with the others, so he won't mind." the smiling boy (doesn't that hurt after a while? Ietsuna knows he couldn't possibly smile that long) says.

"Still, you should give him a call, so he knows where you are. You can use my cell if you need it." and so saying, he hands the tech to the kid, who shrugs but calls anyway.

After that, It was like Takeshi almost lived with them, when he wasn't at home or playing baseball he would be at the house.

This could have been because Ietsuna and the raven had a heart to heart talk about the boy's mom and how her lost effected him.

(And damn that had been awkward; did he have something about him that made people cry their worries and fears out to him? His brother did it more often then not, then Nana would cry with him and Saki on occasion, and then there was also that time with the grocer. He thought his sarcasm would scare most people off; apparently not in this crazy town.)

Though today was a day you could almost say it was a calm, the two baseball lovers playing catch together, with Tsuna joining in as well. (Nami and Ienari probably off doing their own things.

"Okay guys, dinner is almost done, so wash up!" the adult calls out to the kids, who all stop playing to turn to him.

"Okay Tou-san/Sawada-san." getting that confirmed, Ietsuna turns away just in time to miss the confused look on Yamamoto Takeshi's face.

"I thought he was your uncle Tsuna-kun?" The raven asked, confused; this was the first time he's ever heard Tsuna-kun call the man father instead of Uncle like he does at school.

"By blood yes. But in everything else he _is_ my Papa and the only one who matters." brown eyes flash orange for just a brief moment before it is gone.

(For some reason, as he stirs the curry for Nana, the father of three (+ one through bond) feels the great urge to smack Iemitsu and bang his head against the wall a couple times. He settle for vigorously stirring the pot.)

Blinking at that, the amber eyed boy looked thoughtful, thinking of how warm, kind, and nice if a bit sarcastic the man he has gotten to know is, before coming to a decision.

"Then do you think he could be my Uncle?"

(To say that Ietsuna is surprised by how he suddenly gains a nephew is an understatement. On the other hand, Yamamoto senior is just happy that Takeshi smiles more real now, ever since the ash-brown haired man had a talk with his son about how he felt about his mother's death, something the sushi chef still didn't have the strength to talk about. Nana and Saki are just happy to have more people to feed and another adult added to the babysitting list.)

* * *

  ** _/Tell Me How You Feel/_**

Something to note about Vongola is how it has two separate branches; Varia and CEDEF. Now, to encourage better relations with each other, sometimes members will do simple missions for the other, from training new recruits to teaching others how to use a computer.

To even bodyguard/glorified babysitting (though this was usually about punishment then internal relations).

Which 20 year old Ietsuna had the luck to get stuck with the latter when he still worked at CEDEF; he had the honored (and very feared) job of looking after the Ninth's youngest, Xanxus on occasion.

The young six year old boy, ever since he came into the fold since last year, had been a terror for his guards, slipping them constantly at best and challenging them and winning at worse. No one wanted the 'honor' of watching him, so being his 'guard' became considered a harsh punishment.

Which the ash-blond assassin at the time got because he didn't show a 'Superior' the right amount of 'respect'.

(It was worth it, punching that perverted bastard to a pulp.)

Everyone thought that the 20-year old would join the other traumatized mafioso; no one expected the unholy combination the two would make and all the snark they could carry.

("Wow, I never knew someone could mess up so bad, nice job brat."

"Like you could do this at my age old man."

"At your age I was in the hospital with my body eating nearly over half my flames; you don't have an excuse, what with being a living furnace."

"Bite me, imbecile ."

"And your vocabulary is improving I see; decided to stop calling others trash?"

"No, you showed that you at least have some use unlike the others."

"I'm flattered, really, I am.")

Needless to say, when after four years Ietsuna retired, no one was really happy with that, least of all the now ten year old who had bonded with him through random guard jobs whenever the older man's true job didn't get in the way. So the man had given his number to the kid, who took it.

("Don't cry brat; if you need me i'm just a call and a country away."

"I'm not crying you bastard! Why the hell would I miss you!"

"Yeah, here's the number if you happen to get bored enough then."

"... Thanks, for everything."

"Anytime Xanxus.")

Of course, when he gave the little brat the number to his cell, he didn't expect a call six years later out of nowhere in the dead of night.

"Grmarph... 'lo?" was the sleepy answer Ietsuna gave, slowly leaving the warm bed with his lovely wife in it as he went into the hallway, not wanting to wake her up.

"Ietsuna." that woke him up; brat had always called him half-wit (he apparently liked it better) or bastard, with the occasional old man thrown in.

"Xanxus? What's wrong?" the ash brown haired man asked, hearing and almost feeling the anger on the other line.

"Fucking everything!" and then it just spilled out, finding out he was adopted, was never able to become boss, how his father had encouraged every single one of his sons to do so despite that, and just even general treatment he got for being a bastard.

Every frustration, every worry, it all poured out over that call.

"...Okay, I'm going to give you my opinion, you don't have to follow it, but I do want you to at least listen to it. You need to get out of there." the experience father suggested, speaking over the yell that sounded out at that. "No really, Xanxus, you need to have a vacation, a trip, heck go and take a day at the spa if you want. This situation you are in is not only toxic, it's deadly. And not just for those around you; it could kill you as well brat, if you go off into an actual uncontrollable rage, your wrath filled flames destroying you as well in the process." The 30 year old ex-assassin said, his worry leaking through to his voice, his hand shaking.

"... I'll consider it, bastard." and with a click, the call was over, Ietsuna's worrying bothering him for days afterwards.

(He wouldn't have bothered worrying if he knew Xanxus and the Varia higher ups would be on his doorstep one morning. He would have been planning murder instead.) 

———————————————————————————


	2. Who invited all this chaos?

_**/Someone's Hungry/** _

Ietsuna had just been grocery shopping, as it had been this turn for the week, when he heard the rather loud rumble. Blinking, the man looked around, wondering where the sound was coming from and why it seemed like only he heard it.

_Grrrrrrrrrrrrum_

There it goes again! Is he seriously the only one hearing this? Curiousity getting the better of him, he goes to check where it could be coming from, finding that the source is around the corner from the aisle he is in, which is where the sweets are.

And to his surprise, he finds it's a raven haired kid, a red Disciplinary badge on his arm, and steel in his eyes as he seems to glower at the price on a package of green tea mochi, his stomach growling at him all the while as he does.

Now thoroughly amused at the slightly adorable situation, the ash brown man thinks he might use this to his advantage.

After all, he could always use a helper, with the usual ones doing their own thing at the moment.

(Meanwhile...

"I thought you were going to go to the store with him Satoshi-kun!" Ienari asks his twin in looks with only their pupils different, shock and guilt heavy in his tummy.

"I thought Nami-chan or Tsuna-nii were going with him; I had a spelling bee after school." The shy blond with red eyes nearly cries, his eyes teary at all the bad things that could happen to their Tou-san. After all, just last week someone got mugged and someone had even tried to pick-pocket Nana-obasan!

Who knows what terrible things could happen.

"I was helping Nami-chan with her paperwork, since she had more then usual since the Prefect left earlier today." Tsuna says as his speech wobbles here and there, the red haired girl with her brown eyes a bit red sniffling beside him.

"If someone hurts Tou-san I don't care what Kaa-san says; I'm using the kitchen knives to cut them up!" She announces even as she cried, tears falling down her cheeks at the thought of her father hurt somewhere on the cold ground. Violence is no fun when the people you care for are hurt bad.

"Not without us you're not." Ienari and Satoshi say at the same time, matching hard looks on their faces and in their eyes, laziness and shyness disappearing.

 "We'll also have to tell Saki-Obasan; she'll also want a piece of who ever hurts Tou-san." the only brunet in the group said, his eyes hard and determined.

Now they could only wait until the ash brown man came home, or until they got a call something happened.)

Smirking ever so slightly, the father goes ahead and takes one of the green tea mochi packages, getting a glare directed at him for the action.

"Listen kid, I've been glared at by much more terrifying people; try and wait a few years till the baby fat goes away, then you'll have something." Ietsuna says, eyebrows raised when he sees an actual dark aura appear around the kid.

(... He swears to god, if he is in an Anime or Manga, he will go try for the Lottery; knowing his life, he might have crazy luck to make up for all the crazy in it.)

"... Anyways, if you're interested, I might have a deal for you." the blue eyed man continues, the steely eyed kid now looking at him wearily.

"I'm listening, Herbivore." the older man nearly snorts at the classification.

"As much as I enjoy salad as the next person, I love my meat to much to give it up, so I'm still an Omnivore kid. But anyways, I could use a hand with some of the groceries I'm getting, which is a bit much. In exchange for helping with my things, I'll buy you some Mochi. You interested?" Now, normally he wouldn't just ask a random kid, but he's found that those in the same Disciplinary Committee as his daughter are a special case.

While yes they are violent in the protection of the town, they also do help those in need or trouble, though it is considered polite to give an offering of thanks in return. 

Does he understand why these kids have so much power? No he does not.

Does that mean he won't use any of the services that they supply? Hell no, if it prevents him from sore feet and aching arms.

Besides, it's not like the kid isn't getting something out of it (though why the heck they start so young, he does not understand; this kid looks eight and his own daughter joined at five after all).

"...Three packages." the brat before him has the nerve to demand.

"One package is more then enough."

"Four."

"Yeah, no."

"Four and a half.

"Hmmm, I guess I could go one and a half, but that's it; I'm not made of money and the mochi you want is expensive." Ietsuna answers calmly, his cool gaze meeting a glowering one.

"... Fine."

Well, the kid's getting 45 mochi, he himself is getting less ache's and 15 mochi for his family; seems like a okay deal.

(Of course, if he knew what this results in, he probably should have just walked on by.)

* * *

  _ **/Why So Confusing/**_

Hibari Kyoya stared hard at the man he was helping, carrying some of the groceries (which did not hold the mochi his stomach had desired).

The Carnivore was admittedly confused.

No one, besides a rare few, really ever approached the eight year old, finding him 'scary' or 'creepy' as was the case. Not even his own parents cared to be around him, the rare times they were home they would have him at arms length. Though this could have been because the young boy admittedly enjoyed the nature documentaries his aunt gave him then the religious teachings his parents servants had originally tried teaching him. (No one in the world would ever realize just how lucky this was, and would thankfully be blissfully ignorant of a bloodthirsty zealot that could have been.)

But this man, this 'Omnivore' approached him and even struck a _deal_ with him and _haggled_. They had even ruffled his hair, the man's warm hand a weight on his head. It had been a strange action, though not an unpleasant one. (And he might not mind if the man were to do so again.)

Though it had especially gotten interesting when the man had knocked out an annoying herding Herbivore who tried at being a Carnivore to bother them. (The child noted it would be best not to call the older man pretty as that seemed to incite anger to a rather dangerous degree.) The thug and his friends had went down easy. 

So yes, the Omnivore was a source of confusion for the young boy not used to people or any type of affection.

"So, I notice that you're part of the DC; you wouldn't happen to have met my daughter, have you?" is suddenly asked, the question making the Skylark pause.

There was only one female in his committee, the only one who passed every test like the others to get in. (Like his parents, the youngest Hibari had great expectations for those who followed him, though he didn't involve religion to be followed in his group.)

"... Your offspring is the Rabid Female?" the raven couldn't help but ask, now really looking at the man's face to see if he could catch any resemblance in features.

"... I'm guessing that you have fought her?"

"Yes; she fights as if crazed, no rhyme or reason to her style, which while advantageous at times, can also be her down fall when she loses herself." was his answer. (Though it made sense now why he was so confusing, as the brown eyed female was confusing most times of the day, especially when she turned all red for no reason he could see.)

So, this was the Rabid Female's father... 

How _interesting_. 

"Hibari-sama!" and think of the female and so she does appear.

"...Okay, Nami can you help with some of the groceries?" the Omnivore says after a moment where he looks between his stunned daughter and her Committee leader.

"Y-yes Tou-san." the red haired girl says, taking some of the bags from the raven haired boy, blushing as she does so.

Really, why does the female do so? If she is ill she should not be outside, possibly spreading it around.

"Well, here's the house; you can just follow me to the kitchen." and with that said, he goes into the Elder Sawada's house, helping him put things away along with four other children, three of whom run the minute everything is put away, leaving him with the Omnivore and the Rabid Female.

"Okay, so do you want to stay for dinner tonight, or do you want to just take your treat and leave?" is asked of him.

Thinking about it, if he just leaves now he will only go home to a empty house with a few cooks and maids who avoid him whenever possible. Though if he stays, there will surely be crowding, which he finds he does not like.

On the other hand, he is still curious about the confusing being.

"I will stay, but I require a snack." he answers, to which the brown eyed girl immediately goes to what seems to be a pantry to get him what he desires. 

"... Well, welcome to the Sawada households kid." the father says wryly, his hand reaching up to ruffle his hair once more. (Which he secretly didn't want to stop.)

(And ever since, whenever the ash brown haired man goes shopping, a Skylark always joins him. Now, while Ietsuna appreciates the help from who he finds out is Hibari-san and his daughter's crush, he could definitely do without it when trails of bodies start following him from the grocery store.

Then again, he shouldn't have fed him his cooking; who knew the boy would love his curry that much? ...Or would break down when hugged? (He had no idea the kid was touch starved! Otherwise he would have never held him so he could better see the festival fireworks, he could have seriously triggered something more violent in the child then tear stains on his yukata!))

* * *

  _ **/Found It On The Doorstep/**_

When the glasses wearing man had went to get the paper, he did not expect to be yelled at. First thing. _In_. _The_. _Morning_.

"VOOOOOOOOOOI! YOU SURE TOOK YOUR TIME YOU SHITTY OLD MAN! I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF!" was what was yelled at him, early in the morning when he was just waking up.

Needless to say, all the Varia higher ups soon found out why you do not bother/annoy/try to kill Sawada Ietsuna in the morning.

Because he will screw you over and enjoy every minute of your pain.

Xanxus had actually tried to warn his damn subordinates, though due to cockiness and the fact that Ietsuna didn't look like much of a threat with his duck covered bath robe (gift from his boys), fuzzy panda slippers (Gift from the girls), and his pretty boy looks (from his grandmother), they hadn't thought much of him.

When Squalo had opened his mouth, Xanxus had just upped and left, wondering if they would all still be alive when he got back from his sudden patrol around the neighborhood.

When the hour was a little more acceptable, he had come back to find they were, though all were seriously drained.

"You fucking trash, I told you all to be on your damn best behavior here." He growled as the others just groaned, most of the others too tired to even talk.

"W-what the hell did he do to us Boss?" Leviathan asked, a stutter to his words.

"It-it's like the Prince can no longer use his flames!" the youngest groaned, curling into a little ball.

"You know what he did, don't you you shitty boss." his silver haired second growled.

Xanxus snarled at them, "It ain't my place to tell you trash; you want to know, ask him. And you don't have to worry you scum, your flames will come back in an hour or so as long as you don't try and use them." and with that said, he knocked on the door this time, though not to loud to be annoying.

He didn't want to be on the wrong side of Ietsuna's Draining Will Illness.

As the door opened, his old guard looks fit to ask questions much, much later, before he seems to be caught flat footed when he sees the wrathful young man before him. There is an awkward moment of silence, as the two just stare at each other for a moment, before the blue eyed man moves.

Smacking him upside the head, which actually damn well hurt, making him and a few of his men yell, only to be cut off by a glare.

"That is for not calling me to update your status, driving me mad with worry, and being an overall annoying brat. When I said go take a day off, I didn't mean come over to my house!" the man growls, before pulling Xanxus towards him, the teen ready for a punch.

Which doesn't come; instead, he finds himself trapped in a familiar embrace, which admittedly stuns him for a bit.

"And this is because you're still breathing; you better not worry me like that again, or I will be the cause of any injuries you receive." is muttered crossly, Xanxus not able to hold back a chuckle, his head coming down to rest on the now smaller man's shoulder. 

This is what he has been missing since he was ten, this piece of home. And even though it left him, it still left a point of weakness in a cell phone number, given to a child who could have lost it or given it to someone.

A person can do a lot with a phone number; it was why he didn't call until he did, not wanting to endanger the married man.

"Well, enough of that; want to come in for breakfast? Those idiots can join as long as they _behave_." is offered, the blue eyed man pulling away to glare at the stunned assassins behind them.

(In their defense at the time, none of them knew of the terrifying 'Dad Ability' at the time, or how effective it could be. They were just shocked at how much more relaxed their boss looked.)

* * *

  ** _/Nope, Nothing Normal Here/_**

Varia and Satoshi

Little Satoshi, while the smartest in the house, was also the least unimpressive in his eyes.

He couldn't compare to his younger sister, whose violence terrified others even though she could still draw them in with her cheerful smiles and eyes. He also couldn't even hope to be as sneaky as his little brother, who could use his words to trick and trap others when he had the motivation to. And how could he ever hope to even think he could be like their oldest brother through bond, whose warmth could even draw in people like the Hibari-san, whose kindness could melt even harder hearts.

All Satoshi could say for himself was that he had a good memory and was painfully shy; how was that impressive?

And then he met Superbi Squalo and found himself amazed.

"Vooooooi, shitty boss! Stop taking all the pancakes!" was yelled, the silver haired teen scowling fiercely at another scowling dark haired teen.

The young man was loud, he moved with a grace that was deadly, his eyes confident and strong.

Satoshi didn't fully understand what beauty was then, but he thought the young man fighting over his Kaa-san's breakfast was beautiful. 

**-**

"What the fu-" was almost yelled at his oldest, before a dark aura filled the room. (Huh, so he could do it too; nice to know that.)

"Curse in front of my children and I'll do much worse then just making you tired." Ietsuna tells the silver haired teen, who cringes at the reminder, as he puts a plate in front of a little blond boy with a tiny crown on his head. (Really, just how young are assassins starting these days? They keep on getting younger and younger every time he looks.) All the Varia had been on their best behavior, pulling out manners that haven't been used in years in fear of punishment when Ietsuna had let Xanxus and them in for breakfast with a glare. 

Yeah, he still got's it.

"Well, what's with the brat and why is he staring at me?" Squalo grumbles, shooting a look at Satoshi, who is now already hiding behind his father.

"This is my son, Satoshi." he answers, Xanxus raising an eyebrow at that.

"You have a kid?" the red eyed teen asks, looking hard at the shy little blond behind his old guard.

"We were blessed and had triplets." his mahogany haired wife says cheerfully, all the teens pausing at that.

He can see them picturing it now, having three kids instead of just one. He and his wife receive their fair share of looks for that.

"As much as that must suck, why is your brat still staring at me?" the Rain flame user asks, eyes meeting the little boy's, who blushes at that.

... Oh no, please don't say this is what he think it is. Please say his intuition is wrong for once.

"...You'reverybeautiful! DoyouwanttoMarryme!" his red eyed son says as loud as he can, only taking one breath, his face covered in a pink flush. He then bolts out of the room when the guy with piercings spits out his juice, with Squalo's jaw hanging open. (And did the five year old just snap a picture or something?)

Xanxus just gives him a look. 

"... So my kids may have an attraction for violence."

 Vari and Nami

 Nami is the next of his children to walk through for breakfast, her favorite book, _Ways to Maim, Torture, and Kill_ , in hand. 

"Tou-san! Can I learn how to do a Glasgow's smile?" she says as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, eyes sparkling. 

"What have I and your mother said about torture techniques?" He looks over at his daughter who takes her plate from him, book set on the counter.

"That I can't learn those until I am at least 15, so that I can be mentally prepared for the mental aspects and if any of my boyfriends or girlfriends think of ever trying anything I do not want." She recites dutifully, pouting.

"Shi-shi-shi; having to wait for all the good stuff. The Prince has known how to torture and maim since he was five!" the blond child boasted (and why the hell is that a thing to boast about?!), grin growing when Nami just gives him a look.

The grin is no longer on his face once the girl has him tied up in her knitting needles and yarn, down so tightly to impede movement. (Hmm, still needs to work on her speed; if it wasn't for the surprise she wouldn't have- wait a minute.)

"Nami, how many times do I have to tell you; no knitting when eating." he sighs, going over to the tied up blond, who is trying to wiggle out.

"But he was being meeeaan; I don't like it when others are mean." she pouted, tightening her string on the boy, who gasps as she does so.

"Yes, but what if he got food on all your pretty yarn? You wouldn't be able to make anything with it dear." his wife scolds, making Nami pout even more before she reluctantly loosens her hold, letting the blond free.

(Why is this his life again? Knitting shouldn't be considered a deadly weapon in any world.) 

"I'm going to just have some toast Kaa-san; I have early morning patrol now." And saying so, the red head takes two pieces before she runs out, the blond boy starring after her as she goes, a little pink on his face.

... Nope, not going to touch that, not at all.

Varia and Ienari

Ienari, who just walks in, takes a good look around at the dinning room table.

Yeah, no. Not worth the headache it's going to be; he'll just eat some of the pastries he has hidden up in his room.

"Ienari-kun, you better be just forgetting something and not planning to eat those snack cakes for breakfast." is the slight scolding he gets from his father.

"Just thought I left the computer on; I can just go back to it when I'm done with breakfast." he sighs, going over to the table, noticing how a few double take around him.

(So they've probably already met Satoshi, huh? Though why is the silver hair guy giving him that sideways look for? His twin in looks wouldn't have done anything too bad to him, his shyness wouldn't let him.)

"Ah, this is my second child, Ienari. As you can tell, he's Satoshi's twin, while Nami is born fraternal to them."

"We got the best of both." Ienari says with a half-hearted wave, before taking his plate and going to the living room. Seeing as his dad doesn't call him back, he relaxes.

He didn't think he would be to comfortable eating his food with highly trained, assassins who were strangers. It would have been rather off putting. 

Varia and Tsunayoshi

"Tou-san! Tou-san! You won't believe what I won!" is announced just as the door is opened, running able to be heard.

"I thought you said you only had three brats?" Xanxus asks Ietsuna, pulling his hand away from his weapon, the others following his example.

"Well..." and saved by the dinning room door opening, little Tsuna smiling brighter then the sun.

"I won Tou-san! I won the Epic Super Robot, ESR!" okay, maybe not, judging by the stare directed at the back of his neck by undoubtedly red eyes. (And what kind of name is that for a toy?)

"That's great Tsuna-kun, we'll see the requirments on how to get it in a bit. Now though, would you like to join us for breakfast, after we get introductions out of the way?" He asks, drawling the boy's attention to his breakfast guests. Blinking, the boy smiles at them, even as he hides behind his legs.

"Hi." he says a little shyly.

"This is my nephew on my brother's side, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Lion cub, this is a group known as the Varia, lead by Xanxus over there." he introduces, noticing how the Sky and Storm user stares hard at his son through bond.

"You don't call him uncle, but father; why's that trash." is the first thing that pops out of Xanxus's mouth.

... Considering the adopted Sky's situation, this can either end very very badly or not so badly.

And little Tsuna immediately puffs up, the dangerous glint in his eyes that means a headache for Ietsuna and heartache for Nana.

"Because he's my Tou-san in all the ways that matter. He's the one who helps me with my homework, helps me with my hurts, is there for me when the monsters come, is teaching me to defend myself, feeds me yummy curry when I'm really, really hungry! And, and he's always there for me, he kisses me good night, he takes me to school when Kaa-san isn't feeling good and he's, he's just _there_. The funny blond man doesn't even do half that stuff, and I don't want him too; I have Tou-san already, so there!" The cute little brunet huffs, eyes glowing orange and glaring at the other sky as if daring him to argue.

A moment of silence covers the room, everyone watching the display, before the teen Sky actually snorts.

"Sure your dad isn't your mom as well?" the teen says, realizing too late what he just said as Ietsuna gives him a flat look.

"Excuse me Tsuna-kun, but it looks like I have to teach troublesome brats lesson on respect." is the deadpan reply which makes Xanxus flinch as he is dragged outside to the backyard. And even if he doesn't use his lovely brass knuckles with their lovely wave like design and switch blade combination, he can still make a brat or two learn the error of their ways.

(And while the costs for fixing his and Nana's fences is slightly painful, as well as the yards themselves, it's worth it to see his bratty little Sky relax, even if he is getting the snot beaten out of him by the older man. Just like old times, even if he has to cheat more since the kid is stronger.)

* * *

  _ **/Now Look What You Did/**_

It started with one simple, could have been easily overlooked comment if his children weren't so in tuned with anything involving their father. If Xanxus had said it later, it probably wouldn't have made such an impact as it did. As it was, Tsuna had been with the others watching the fight between his father figure and the scary teen, Satoshi and Ienari joining due to curiosity with Nami just coming in from her morning patrol, none of them having to go to school today as it was a day off. Meaning all of them heard the comment when said. 

"You know, I really hate that illness of your's." the youth growled, causing Ietsuna to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, well at least you're not the one suffering from it."

"Tou-san is sick!" is the cry from four different children, making the ash brown haired man wince.

Sure, he had planned to tell his kids eventually, but he was planing to do so when they were much older. A lot more older.

Glaring at Xanxus, who only looks away with a guilty scowl, Ietsuna sighed; what's done is done, no changing that.

"Yeah, I am, though I was planning to tell you all later; looks like that later is now though. Lets go to the living room, this going to take a while." hopefully his children would take this well.

(And if he thought his children becoming protective and possessive to dangerous degrees was taking it well, then they were handling the information fabulously well.)

* * *

  _ **/This Changes Stuff/**_

Nami wasn't sure what to think of the information she just heard, her mind repeatably going over facts.

The Draining Will Illness was a rather nasty Flame related illness; it basically drained the person's flame to aid in strengthening a weak body. Unfortunately, for everything that was strengthened, another weakness would come up, putting the flames into fixing that part while the part that they were focused on previously started to weaken without the support.

This is what her Tou-san had, the only reason he was alright like he was because he was a Sky, which allowed him to live a lot longer with the sickness due to the fact it only ate up half those flames, and that he found that he could drain the flames of others to aid him.

 _"I only take what I need; unless I really need to, I don't completely drain my opponents."_ Was what her blue eyed father had said, a sad smile on his face as he faced them in the privacy of the living room, none of the guests present.

But what if he didn't have anyone to drain? Wouldn't that mean his own flame would be taken instead? He said he would be around for a long time, but just how long was a long time for him? Adults have funny ideas on time after all.

They had spent the time after the discussion just snuggling with the older man, who shared a bit of the newest story he was working on with them, a tale about a dragon and a cat who traveled with a group of kids to find a lost treasure.

Though in the end, they had to leave because their father had to work on said story, leaving them to their own devices.

Which was completely alright; they had to call a meeting with Takeshi and Hibari-sama, because those two would certainly want to know. And maybe they'll also have ideas about how to help Tou-san!

(Ietsuna does not know why, but he has the sudden great urge to call any school that teaches medicine, and apologize to them. Repeatably.)

———————————————————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just unloading more for this as some of it apparently decided it wanted to be free.
> 
> And just a warning, I love messing with the Hibari family background, so no two stories will probably have Kyoya with a similar family, unless the stories are part of a series or it would fit with that story better as well.
> 
> And yes, one of my headcanons is that Hibari Kyoya is touch starved ~~(or abused)~~ , he just doesn't know how to handle it in canon after not having faced any sort of touch for around 16 years. So Ietsuna being so causal and just ruffling his hair and treating him like the kid he is at such a young and impressable age, well, it'll mean he'll be seeing more of a certain Skylark.
> 
> And someone asked if I could put descriptions here for Ietsuna's children, so here we go in order from oldest to Youngest of the Triplets!
> 
> Satoshi: Twin in looks to his brother, though he has compass shaped pupils instead of normal ones. Has rose red eyes like his mother, but messy blond hair in a boy's cut from his father's side. Is skinny and lean, usually with a book in hand.
> 
> Ienari: Twin in looks to his brother, normal shaped pupils and even messier hair. His eyes though are usually half open or narrowed, and he pretty much always has something computer related on him.
> 
> Nami: Has brown eyes with compass shaped pupils, with a messy bob of red hair. Usually always has a closed eyed smile on her face, she never leaves the house without her knitting needles and yarn.

**Author's Note:**

> And this is what my head came up with. I blame Cywscross, don’t you know poking the muse while it’s down only makes it cackle?
> 
> So here’s all the Sawada Households:
> 
> Sawada Ietsuna- Writer, ex-CEDEF member, Sky flame, and father. Has an illness that cuts off half his flames.  
> Sawada Saki- wife, ex-assassin, dojo instructor, Desert flame, and mother. Was an orphan before she was taken in by another Family.  
> Sawada Nana- house wife and volunteer worker. Non-active flames.  
> Sawada Tsunayoshi- Sky flame and sweet older brother.  
> Sawada Satoshi- Earth flame and shy, yet smart eldest of the triplets  
> Sawada Ienari- Sky flame and lazy, tricky middle of the triplets  
> Sawada Nami- Earth flame and the cheery, violent youngest of the triplets.
> 
> You know how sometimes characters just have people out of no where tell you what's wrong? Ietsuna is one of those people. I find it hilarious, due to his snarky personality. 
> 
> And I've always had the thought that Xanxus seemed alone, with only few people on his side, and definitely no one older he could turn to for any help; so I always wondered what would have happened if he had something to listen to him? Someone who could give him some solid advice, heck, at least some good ones. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
